You've Got To Be Kidding Me- A Quickie

I'm doing a short one tonight and posting from my phone because that's what happens when you do favors for your friends. This wasn't what I was planning on writing today, however it's been on my mind all day long.

I've mentioned that Hubbs and I have the baby four days a week. The other two or three days he's usually with his Aunt Lisa. Baby Mama usually sees him about once a week. Well...

Last night I went with Conner to the bathroom because even though he's fully potty trained he still always wants company. He took off his shorts to pee and when he was done I grabbed them to help him put them back on. And then I noticed that he wasn't wearing underwear. He got dropped off to our house without any underwear on. 

Now..other than the fact that he wasn't wearing underwear, he had a bad rash on his butt because he has eczema and allergies and has super bad skin. We combat this with a host of skin creams and allergy medicine as well as also trying to make sure that he is in clean, cotton clothes. 

So I asked him why he wasn't wearing any underwear. "Mommy and Shaun and Aunt Lisa didn't have any underwear for me." 

"Oh, well lets go put some on." 

"I'm so glad you always have underwear for me Jennimamma!" 

Of course I do. Because I do your laundry and make sure you have clean clothes. I don't constantly drop you off in dirty clothes, sweats and long sleeves in the summer time, or shirtless in the dead of winter. Because I love you. 

Seriously. Am I overreacting? Am I under reacting? Hubbs constantly tries to tell her to get her act together. This past winter we bought him two winter coats and both were lost and never seen again.  He had pneumonia as a three year old. His mom is going to school to be a nurse. What the hell is going on? It isn't rocket science. He's a baby, you have to take care of him. He is more important than you are- forever and always. 

Any stepmoms out there deal with this? Any moms who have this problem with their ex? It'd be cool to have some legit feedback. 

Obligatory About Me and Some Background

I'm a 26 year old lady living in New York who never in a million years imagined being a stepmom. And then it happened and I just sort of rolled with it. We're an untraditional family- tattooed and pierced parents, unmarried but married, bouncing around the most intelligent 4 year old I have ever come across.

Hubbs and I met by accident, though after the fact his then-best-friend maintains the spur of the moment meeting was planned from the beginning. He didn't speak to me the entire time. We began dating and were inseparable. Even apart, we were constantly together, texting throughout the day from 'good morning' to 'good night'. I won't pretend that it was love at first sight- the week before I suffered a bad breakup and was not fast looking to become involved in another relationship. It just happened. Before a month had passed he told me he loved me, and I full-heartedly reciprocated.

It was two months into our relationship before I met Conner (bub, chubb, the fat kid, the baby). I remember being so nervous for the beach day that we had planned. But, as Hubbs recently told me, "it was love at first sight for you guys." And it was. We were inseparable at the beach. He had turned two only a couple months prior and he led me around the beach by the hand for hours. He cried when it was time to leave and fell asleep in the car on the way home. When he awoke he asked his mother, "where's Jenny?"

Hubbs and I moved in together after 3 months. I guess that's where it all really takes off. We quickly transitioned from being 'just' boyfriend and girlfriend to something more, which I was unable to put a name to for a long time. We had Conner every weekend and I missed him whenever he wasn't around.

It was one day at the park when Conner innocently gave us the title which I had been unable to put a name to. Another little boy asked if he wanted to play and Conner, being the shy boy he was until about 4 months ago, declined saying, "no, I'm playing with my family." I almost cried when he said it- tears well in my eyes when I think of it now. It was amazing.

I asked Joe on the way home about it. "Do you think of us as a family?"

"Yeah I do. I don't think of you as just my girlfriend. You're a part of our family. The three of us are a family." It was sincerely one of the happiest days of my life.

Currently, we have Conner 4 days a week. The three days that he isn't with us, while always wonderful because Hubbs and I are together, just aren't complete.